Your summer road trip's new obstacle: car-shaming!

Why drivers are feeling guilty behind the wheel — and how to push back

There's nothing like a road trip this summer — if you can get past the shame of it.

Shame? Yeah, the shame of driving a gas-powered vehicle.

"Car-shamers want everyone to buy an EV," says Matt Deter, who works for an industrial machinery company in Rocklin, Calif.

Deter, who drives a gas-powered Porsche Cayenne, is put off by efforts to ban gas vehicles in California. He says EV technology isn't quite ready for prime time. He's also troubled by activists and EV drivers who call out people who continue to drive cheaper and more reliable gas cars.

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It's as if they're trying to turn one of the great American traditions, the summer road trip, into a guilt trip.

And this summer, driving vacations have never been more popular. AAA predicts a record 34.9 million drivers will be on the road this Memorial Day weekend, an increase of 3 percent from last year.

But what is car shaming, and why is it happening this summer? Also, what should you do if someone tries to car-shame you?

Will this be the summer of car shaming?

Car shaming is as old as modern electric vehicles — and probably older.

"Car shaming often comes from growing social pressure and shifting views on sustainability," explains Carla Bevins, who teaches business management communication at Carnegie Mellon University’s Tepper School of Business. "As more people become aware of environmental issues, some feel strongly about encouraging greener choices, which can sometimes result in criticizing others' decisions."

Before EVs, car shaming was more of a "tsk-tsk" attitude dished out by a nosy neighbor or your mother-in-law. ("Do you really need that much car?") But with the advent of EVs, it acquired more of an edge.

Car shaming hit an inflection point in 2022, when a group of Gen Z activists calling themselves the Tyre Extinguishers began deflating the tires of SUVs with the goal of making it impossible to own "a huge polluting 4x4 in the world’s urban areas." Lately, it has taken to spray-painting the SUVs.

Car shaming became complicated this year as Tesla CEO Elon Musk took on a more political role. But even as Tesla fell out of favor with some drivers, the fundamentals of car shaming remained.

No one tracks the number of car-shaming incidents systematically. But anecdotal evidence suggests there have been more flare-ups in the recent past, as environmentally-minded EV owners square off against more traditional motorists at gas stations and in parking lots. Anyone driving a large vehicle like an SUV or a specialty vehicle seems most vulnerable to being shamed.

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Why is car shaming happening?

People are quick to judge, says psychology professor Thomas Plante. That's happening more in a polarized political climate. Gas-guzzling pickup trucks are emblematic of red states; overpriced EVs are icons of blue states. (And never mind that the guy who made EVs a household word is himself, well, not a blue stater. But I digress.)

"Also, people always look for ways to justify their own behavior," he adds. "And so if someone buys an EV, for example — and perhaps spent time and extra money to do so — then they want to justify their own decision by criticizing others who made a different decision."

So there's a lot behind car shaming. It's politics. It's money. But what about the environment?

What's it like to be car-shamed?

In case it's never happened to you, here's what car shaming is like: Last summer, Stephanie Edenburgh was driving her Toyota Highlander in San Diego, where she runs a small publishing company. Another customer looked at her SUV and noticed the kids in back.

"Don’t you care about your kids’ future?" the customer asked.

Edenburgh said nothing.

Mushfiq Sarker drives a Honda Civic, and he also experienced car shaming.

"Last month, I posted some photos on Instagram from a road trip," recalls Sarker, the CEO of a digital marketing agency in Dallas. "My Civic was parked by a scenic overlook, and I thought it was a fun moment to share. Shortly after, someone commented, “Why are you still driving gas?"

At first, he dismissed the comment. But then he started to wonder. Are gas vehicles not good enough for summer road trips?

"I think car shaming is becoming more common because EVs are seen as a moral choice, not just a practical one," Edenburgh told me. "With the rise in EV sales and their increasing affordability, there’s a growing expectation that everyone should switch to one. However, this mindset can ignore the fact that many families, like mine, need larger vehicles or can’t yet afford an EV."

How to handle a car shamer

Car shamers come in several varieties. Let's start with the easy ones. If you see someone trying to deflate your tires or spray paint your car, call the police.

But if someone confronts you about driving a gas-powered vehicle, here's what you can do:

Be gracious

Many car-shamers feel they're performing a valuable public service by calling out polluters. Unfortunately, they fail to take into account the personal circumstances of the person driving a gas-powered vehicle. (Mostly, EVs are more expensive and often impractical because of range limitations and lack of charging infrastructure.) Still, it's worth thanking them for the feedback.

Deflect the criticism

Usually, car shamers feel they have the right to wag their fingers at you because they think they've made a superior choice in transportation. So play along. Ask them how they get around. What's it like to drive an EV? Chances are, they'll want to tell you, and you can avoid an argument.

Don't get into a fight

Plante, who teaches psychology at Santa Clara University, says there's no need to escalate a confrontation by defending your choice to drive a gas-powered car. "Instead, respond with respect and compassion," he says. That means thanking them for the feedback — and then driving away.

I'll switch when I'm good and ready

I know what you're thinking: What about you, wiseguy? Do you drive an EV?

Actually, no. As a travel journalist who is on the road almost constantly, I don't even own a car. I take whatever transportation is available at the time, whether it's a tuk-tuk in Siem Reap or a gondola in Venice.

I love road trips, and when I go on them, I rent the best car for the drive. And until now, that's always been one with an internal combustion engine. I'd like to see that change, and I think we're near an inflection point where it could change. And maybe, where it should change.

But deflating my tires and defacing my car won't speed up the change — nor will shaming me.

Your turn

Ever been shamed for your car? How did you respond? And do you think car shaming has gone too far — or not far enough?